UFO Wackadoos…

The History Channel’s been running a bunch of their UFO programming lately and I’m scratching my head. How can anyone believe this bullshit? Are we alone in the universe? I highly doubt it. If this backwater, edge of nowhere planet can spawn (semi) intelligent life I have no doubts it’s happened elsewhere as well. Is the speed of light something we’ll never exceed? I dunno, it’s possible, anything is really… But honestly, listening to these people there’s more UFO traffic every day on the planet that JFK, O’Hare and Orlando International handle combined.

The question(s) I’ve got for all these UFO nutjobs is…. WHY?! Why are they coming here? Is it them and us? Are our planet and one other the only source of life in the galaxy? With the reports of the variety of ships and aliens being seen around the planet you’d have to seriously doubt that there’s only one other source of life out there. The latest theory I saw was not only are the UFOs flying in our skies they’re also surfing the waves and have giant bases in the deepest parts of the oceans. WHY?! Imagine you’re a race of beings so technologically advanced that you can cross interstellar distances. What possible reason would you have to fill our skies with visitors? What does this little po dunk planet have that seems to attract every alien with an anal probe to it? You’ve developed effective, speedy, safe, interstellar travel. What’s here that could possibly interest you? If we were being farmed as food you’d think they’d improve the health of the herd but we’re not getting drastically healthier as a race. Spacial Anthropology? Perhaps… but hundreds or thousands of visitors a year? That’s be like erecting a Vegas sized hotel in every primitive village we’ve discovered. I don’t buy that. They’re not mining us for rare metals. Space is full of things to mine you don’t need to come here for them.

Have we been visited? Could be. I don’t discount the possibility. We are after all blasting and transmitting quite a lot of content out into space. Have alien spacecraft crashed onto planet Earth? Yeah, give me a break. That’d be like driving from New York to California and wrecking your car on a cockroach that’s crossing the road. INTERSTELLAR travel, people!You don’t develop that and go “SPLAT!” into little planets out in the middle of nowhere. Have our or other military fighter planes shot down UFOs? Again, give me a break. Anything that can cross vast reaches of space full of untold numbers of rocks of all sizes, radiation that would fry us dead in seconds, anything that can move through our atmosphere, in and out of orbit, changing directions like a cartoon character is going to shrug off anything, other than nukes (and maybe nukes), that we could throw at them.

I’m with Douglas Adams. We got, at best, a two word entry in the Encyclopedia Galactica, “Mostly Harmless”, and that was the end of that. There’s absolutely nothing I can see that could possible draw aliens by the thousands to build bases in our oceans, mutilate our cattle and anally probe our Rednecks. If given the choice between driving up and seeing the horse head nebula or the Hourglass ‘Eye of God‘ Nebula up close and personal and visiting our planet. I know which ones I’d pick.

Hawk (not, Not of this Earth)


  1. Rendclaw (formerly known as Anaconda)

    Hey bro, how have you been?? I’m glad to see you’re still alive and kicking!!

  2. hawk (Post author)

    OMG! No way! How the hell did you find me?!


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