Damn nice of them…

A few months ago I was doing the grocery shopping and needed some air spray. Since quitting smoking the… emissions from my nether regions have been more… noxious (think primordial swamp) and frequent than usual. Yes, I’m sorry, I’m talking about farting. A lot… I can’t help it. The farting, not the talking about it. That I could help but you need (not really, I just wanted to gross everyone out) that part of the story to appreciate (more or less) the rest.

Most air spray/freshener smells like someone’s grandmother or an explosion at a florist’s shop or don’t smell much at all. Very few do anything for my “problem”. I saw a new package on the shelf Glade’s “Ferns and Blossoms”. I didn’t expect much but I gave it a ‘spritz’ at the store and it smelled pretty good so I bought a can. Used it for a week and it was great. It really worked unlike their “Fresh Linen” scent which when used just adds an outdoorsy addition to the “odor”. I bought another can the next week and then the last couple weeks it’s been missing from the shelves. The store manager fed me some line about them completely phasing out all aerosol stuff for the environment (yeah, right, whatever) but it sounded like crap (as opposed to smelling like it…)

So I sent an email off to Glade (SC Johnson) asking why I couldn’t find my new favorite scent on the shelf only to be told that it had in fact been discontinued. The advised me to check their web page to help me choose a new scent. I wrote back saying; “But… ‘Ferns and Blossoms’ IS still listed there… and even if you are discontinuing it how about digging up a case to sell me?” They do sell through their site and 1-800 service hard to find products they still make.

Friday my phone rang at 9:00 AM. Phone calls at that time are invariable people trying to sell me something or get me to donate to some cause or another. 9:00 AM is also usually the middle of my night and I answered the phone like a grumpy bear who’s been woken from his hibernation…

It’s [somebody] (look, I said I was sleeping!) from SC Johnson and she’s VERY sorry they discontinued a product I like and they do apologize ever so much and they’re really do like hearing from consumers and… suffice it to say she was a happy, perky person poking the sleeping bear. But then she says “I did call our warehouse and I was able to locate a full case of the scent that we’re going to send you!” That was nice and all but I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, the one saying “For only $40 plus shipping!” so I asked her how much it was going to cost me and she said…

No, no, sir, you misunderstood. We’re going to SEND it to you. Free of charge. Because we’re so sorry about discontinuing a product you liked.”

I wasn’t even trying to use ‘The Power of the Bitch‘ I was honestly writing to them to find out where I could buy their product around here and if not I was completely willing to buy at least a couple cans because I liked it that much. They just totally made my day.

Hawk (Sir Fartsalot)


  1. John

    That’s awesome. Hooray good companies. You should submit that to Consumerist, they love stuff like that.

    On a side note… what, good old Ozium wasn’t doin’ it?

  2. hawk (Post author)

    Ozium’s great to have in the car or near a baby’s changing table to get rid of immediate odor attacks but I never LIKED the scent of it as something I’d like to keep smelling hour after hour.

  3. Chilly

    Tried Oust? It really works ridding odor without replacing it with Grandma smell.

    Glad to hear SC Johnson is responsive to their customers. Oh! They scored a 100 in the Human Rights Campaign’s Buying for Equality guide. Excellent!

  4. hawk (Post author)

    My favorite was a cinnamon scent by Renuzit plain cinnamon where the other companies add apples and spices which just make me hungry 🙂

    Haven’t tried Oust IIRC it’s a bit more expensive than the usual stuff.

  5. Azmidiske

    Man, that ferns and blossoms scent was my favorite, too. I became acquainted with it when I worked graveyard at the convenience store. We’d get a whole lot of drunks and people who didn’t like to bathe, at that hour and it sure came in handy. I’m a little grumpy about them discontinuing it, too….maybe I should write an email.

  6. hawk (Post author)

    I got my case today! Woo! 12 cans of air freshener!

    Thank you SC Johnson!

  7. danucal

    Yeah, I’m late..But anyway, that rocks! I have to start complaining more often. Also, nice blog. :~)

  8. hawk (Post author)

    Glad you could stop by and glad you enjoyed the blog. Do visit the rest of the site:


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