A conversation I had today….

dramatis personae –
(TM): Telemarketer
(Me): guess

(TM): Hi, my name is Joseph and I’m calling on behalf of [some company I can’t remember] and I was wondering if you had a few minutes to complete a survey.

(Me): Can’t help you.

(TM): You what?

(Me): I can’t help you. I’m not allowed to have opinions.

(TM): You’re what? Who told you you couldn’t have opinions?

(Me): The judge, he said I couldn’t have any opinions!

(TM): So… is there perhaps anyone else there I could conduct my survey with?

(Me): Nope, they’re all dead, THEY had opinions!


(Me): aww, he hung up….

Hawk (LOVES to mess with telemarketers)


  1. Bill F. Witz

    I had a creditor call the other day
    He wanted to talk to me about my outstanding debts
    I was like, Thank you very much.
    Outstanding that’s good right,
    so like what did I win a prize?

  2. Hawk (Post author)

    Heh 🙂

  3. Jes

    That was better then the telemarketer that called and the home owner pretended he was local law enforcement. I have a story thought it isn’t about a telemarketer it is about those who have to sell religion door to door. The nice Christian church sent a few of their southern friends to share their joy in the Lord with us. My brother being the nice person he is was playing his guitar. He decided to turn the amp up real loud so the people 3 blocks away could hear him strum the beginning of Black Sabbath. The happy church group decided that it was a bad time to come begged us to go to church and left. Since then our gargoyle planted right next to the front door has kept them away.


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