Too far?

I like to mess with telemarketers. I really do. I’ve added our house phone number to the ‘Do Not Call’ list twice so anyone calling deserves what they get. Right? Granted I’m not as good as this guy but I do enjoy myself.

10:30 AM the phone rings. I’d just gotten warm and toasty under the covers after a chilly night of Restless Leg Boogie. I didn’t want to answer it but the ring tone I use was annoying the hell out of me and it could have been my mom’s doctor’s office calling with test results so, grudgingly, I answered the phone…

“Hi! This is Judy with [Some such] Gym & Fitness Center! We’re calling to find out if you have the body you always wanted!”

I just had to; “Why yes as a matter of fact I do. She’s been hanging on a meat-hook in the closet and should be ripe in a few days…” Then I let loose with my most insane cackle (ask anyone who’s heard it, it’s a good’un!). There was some stammering, some partial words I couldn’t make out and then I growled out “Meat! Glorious MEAT!” That earned me a scream and a dial-tone. I wonder if she called the cops?

Hawk (Muahahahahahaha!)


  1. Jes

    Leave it to you. I wish I was witty.

  2. Frost

    That is BRILLIANT.


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