I Won! I Won! I Won!
I just got a Priority Express (PriEx!) envelope in the mail! It said there was SPECIAL dated material inside and I must open it AT ONCE!!
So I did… and it was an ad from a local car dealership… with a scratch-off spot and if the number under my scratch-off spot matched the number inside the ad from the local car dealership I’d won ONE of these fabulous prizes!!
1. $50,000 cash OR His & Hers Outlanders OR Five years rent/mortgage payments
2. 50′ flat screen TV
3. $1,000 Wal-Mart gift card
4. One Florida Lottery scratch-off ticket
Can you guess which one EVERYONE wins?
Then I looked at the smallish print and read; “Value between $5 and $1,000.”
Now, I don’t know about you but I’m wondering how fifty grand in cash, two cars or five years of rent can have a value between $5 and $1,000. Maybe they’re Matchbox cars? Maybe you have to live in some 3rd world village for them to cover your rent… Maybe it’s Monopoly money!
Then I looked at the even smaller print:
Odds of winning 1st prize (1:25,000) – 2nd prize (1:24,999) – 3rd prize (1:24,998) – 4th prize (24,997:25,000)
So, should I drive all the way across town to get a $1 lottery ticket?! Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Hawk (won, shit yet again, yay me)