A True (I Swear!) Story.

This happened years ago back when I was driving a wrecker for Triple-A. After already working more than 60 hours (our typical winter work week was 80 hours) I NEEDED coffee. I walked into the local Dunkin’ Donuts to get me a cup of the life extending fluid…

D&D: Can I help you?
Me: Large black coffee please.
D&D: How would you like it?
Me: In a cup, please.
D&D: But what do you want in it?
Me: Percocet, vicodin?
D&D: {D’hur}
Me: Coffee, coffee in cup, lid, lid on cup, give cup, take money.
D&D: But HOW do you want it!?
Me: Hot, thanks.
D&D: Cream? Sugar?
Me: Put the damn coffee in a cup and hand it to me!
D&D: Please, how do you take your coffee?
Me: Apparently with violence.
D&D Manager: Large Black Coffee, on the house sir!
Me: Ahh… coffee.

Hawk (much mellowed with age…)


  1. Trish

    Oh gosh, that is fantastic. 🙂 The wit! It kills me.

  2. Cindy

    I swear, some people. Reminds me of the Denis Leary rant about just wanting a cup of regular black coffee and getting served by some junior noodlehead with his pants down around his knees and how he wanted desperately to tell the guy to pull up his damn pants and driving away and realizing as he smelled the distinct odor of pancake syrup that the little rat bastard had sold him maple flavored coffee – and on and on… It was hilarious.

    I wish I could’ve been in line behind you. 😀


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