All Wet :(

An actual conversation with a Florida Today Delivery Issue specialist:

FTDIS: “Hi, my name is [unimportant] how can I help you today?”
Me: “I’d like a paper that’s not soaking wet.”
FTDIS: “Can you please confirm your delivery address?”
Me: [Does So]
FTDIS: “Okay sir, I’ve gone and issued you a credit for today’s wet paper.”
Me: “I don’t want credit. I want a paper that’s not soaking wet.”
FTDIS: “Was your paper bagged, sir?”
Me: “Apparently not well enough, it’s wet.”
FTDIS: “I apologize for your wet paper sir and I’ve issued a credit. I’ll put a note in the file to double bag and tie future deliveries. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Me: “I want a paper that’s not soaking wet.”
FTDIS: “I do apologize for your wet paper, sir, but we don’t have re-delivery available today.”
Me: “Why?”
FTDIS: “We don’t have re-delivery available today.”
Me: “Why?”
FTDIS: “We don’t have re-delivery available today.”
Me: “Why?”
FTDIS: “We don’t have re-delivery available today.”
Me: “Why?”
FTDIS: “We don’t have re-delivery available today.”
Me: “You said that already. Why isn’t it available.”
FTDIS: “We don’t have re-delivery available today.”
Me: “Why?”
FTDIS: “Re-delivery is only available on weekends, sir.”
Me: “So you only correct your mistakes two days a week?!”
FTDIS: “We do not have re-delivery available today. Is there anything else I can help you with today, sir?”
Me: “I want a paper that’s not soaking wet.”
FTDIS: “Sir…”
Me: [Hangs Up]

Did you know they don’t have re-delivery available today? I sure didn’t!

I don’t get the whole only fixing problems thing two days a week. Sure it’s got to save them some money but I can’t believe I’m the only pissed off customer today with a soaking wet paper.

Unless it IS raining when they’re getting loaded up our delivery drone never double bags the paper even when there’s an 80%+ chance of rain.

Last Sunday our paper was… inundated. When I called then to complain they had a nice recording about how our paper’s might be delayed due to Daylight Saving Time but then didn’t bother to staff the office the extra hour that DST added to everyone’s morning. They only take calls until 10:30 AM, if you get up a little late on Sunday morning and want your delivery problem fixed you get to talk to a recording and you don’t get a paper.

Oh yeah, they just raised the delivery rate by $6 a month. Feel the love.

Hawk (Did kinda enjoy yanking the phone drone’s chain )

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