Doubles anyone?

Words? Words in a row? Are you serious? Can I ask any more questions? I bet I could! Yes, actual words. Words about something. Ok, there’s a picture too. We’ll get to that in a moment but it’s just one picture and the words are more than one… Work with me here, it’s been a while since I wrote more than a description of a picture I’ve taken… which, technically is what this blog post really is… ah, hell. Well, at least it’s more words than I have been stringing together… I hope. I mean I could choke, literally, on the subject and just stick it to myself. Okay, okay, enough puns!

I’ve been eating pretzels for years. To be honest I’ve been eating pretzels for decades. I was eating pretzels before I had any teeth and now that I don’t have any teeth once again I’m still eating pretzels. I love pretzels and their salty goodness…

That being said. Have you ever reached into a bag of pretzels and found mutants? Twists that twisted too much or too little or merged with others to form weird, distorted chaotic bundles of dough and salt. Or doubles, pretzel sticks stuck to other pretzel sticks. Having no teeth (tmi?) I’ve found pretzel sticks to be the easiest to eat and no matter if they’re Rold Gold (I always thought that had a vaguely drug related sounding name), store brand or Snyders of Hanover (The Dee Snyders of Hanover?!) not a bag goes down the gullet that doesn’t produce at least one or two doubles.

Why doubles? Why two? Why so many questions, Mr. Smarty Pants? What I mean is I’ve never seen a triple or a quadruple pretzel stick monster. I’ve never seen more than doubles in any brand. Two linked together forever… at least until they’re bitten (or gummed (tmi again?)). Sometimes just at the ends other times fused along their whole pretzely length. How is it, why is it that two pretzels can get stuck together but it never seems to happen to more than two? Riddle me that, Batman!

I’m going to write to Rold Gold and Snyders (of Hanover) and ask them and if they don’t think I’m insane and call the police and provide a rational or even an irrational (young pretzel love cut short in the blazing furnace of the oven, ouch!) answer I’ll share it here… with you two or three people who bother to come here to my blog.

You know what the best part of this post is? (damn, more questions?!) I get a snack at the end!

Click for a better view…

Hawk (nom, nom, nom… pretzels!)


  1. Jes

    As a child nothing was better then pink lemonade and mutant pretzel sticks or those cheese tid-bits. Not the Cheez-it’s or Better Cheddar’s but the tid-bits.

  2. Carl

    Life has many mysteries, some are better off being left alone. Many times we seeks answers to questions only to find we really didn’t want to know the truth. Some questions are better off going unanswered. Awe heck, if they do give ya an answer let me know what it is, I still eat the little mutant F-kers anyway.


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