A Lost Post From July… OOPS!

So how was my day? Oh my day was wonder-freaking-ful. It started off with getting two hours of sleep and then dealing with a grumpy as hell mother who hates mornings. She’d gotten five, six hours of sleep but still grumbled and bitched about being up at nine AM.

Our first stop was our insurance agent’s office. AS we walked in the door he had just started a call writing a policy over the phone for someone who wanted to explore the price for EVERY possible configuration and option of their auto policy. We finally get into his office and he goes over the policy, line by line, TO HIMSELF. We sit there and sit there and finally mom gets to sign and initial about a dozen times. We shell out almost fifteen hundred bucks for a year’s coverage. Then we find out the bastards at the insurance company had raised our hurricane deductible from $2,500 to $3,100. With this insurance company if there’s a hurricane loss we have to pony that money up up FRONT before they’ll cover damages. You can’t, as we did in 2004, cover the deductible from the check they write. Hooray for us!

The next stop was Dick’s Sporting Goods to find mom a new pair of sandals. Stood around the footware section for ten minutes, couldn’t find a single pair of sandals on display. I eventually had to walk all the way to the front of the store to get the cashier to call someone over to footware. The girl arrives and says “Oh, I’m sorry, I think we only have one pair of sandals in.” No, that wasn’t one STYLE that was one PAIR. They actually had one, single, pair of sandals in the entire store. Of course, they weren’t my mom’s size. She also had no idea when or if they were ever going to get more in. Hooray for us!

Next we swung across the street to Bed, Bath & Beyond so mom could get some new sheets. Do you know where the sheets are? They’re all the way at the BACK of that giant store. Mom browses around a while and finds some nice percale sheets, bing, bang, zoom, we’re out the door.

Then she decides she wants to go home. We had other stops planned but her knee was bothering her. Of course I’d told her to take a couple Tylenol before we left and she got cranky and said she didn’t want to. So heigh-ho off we go home.

We get home and mom wants to put our copy of the homeowner’s policy in the lockbox. A few minutes pass and she can’t find her keys. We tear apart the place she keeps her purse. The car. The place we keep the lockbox since she was just in it the other day. No keys, no where.

I call the insurance agent, Dick’s and BB&B. Nope, no one’s turned in any keys. Mom’s more upset about the mementos ON the key ring than the potential giving access to our house and car to anyone who finds the keys.

Just in case she dropped them I head back out… I check the parking lot where the insurance agent is, six stores on the same side of the strip-mall where the agent is. No keys. I head over to Dick’s, or I try to, the traffic light freaks out while I’m in line and won’t turn green (augh!). Finally get to Dick’s. Parking lot, footware department, front desk, no keys. I go across the street to BB&B, I check at the service counter. I walk the store where we had shopped. I checked every cart I could find in the store which annoyed quite a few people who were using those carts at the time. I checked all the carts in the parking lot. No keys.

I head home. On the way I stop off at Mickey D’s for an ‘I deserve this’ lunch. They screw up my entire order. My knee’s killing me and the drive-thru line has suddenly wrapped around the building. AUGH!

I get home. I ask my mom “Did you look EVERYWHERE?” and she says she has. But hell I’ll tear the house apart again anyhow. I grab the flashlight and… “Did you look in the junk drawer, mom?” No, of course she didn’t. Why ever would her keys be in there? There’s no way her keys could… oh hey look at that…


Guess who’s buying me a pizza for supper tonight 🙂

Hawk (at least the car has A/C)


  1. Frosty

    Wait… I totally remember this story! Maybe you emailed me about it? Anyway, what a cruddy day. Blegh.

  2. Carl

    At least ya got a pizza out of it all.


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