Florida Tourists, Please Read.
We enjoy having you visit our fine state. Well, to be honest, you could just send your wallets, we’d be fine with that too. But for the love of God, when you visit our beaches and see those signs that say things like “WARNING: RIP CURRENTS” and “DANGER” pay attention to them. We don’t put them up because they’re quaint. We don’t put them there so you can pose your kids for a photo next to them. They’re there because THEY MEAN IT!
This past weekend alone in Brevard and Volusia counties some ONE THOUSAND people needed to be pulled out of the ocean and one, sadly, will never return to Florida. Being rescued from a rip current isn’t a damned tourist attraction, people! I feel sorry for the lifeguards, they’ve got to be worn completely out.
Here’s an idea… If you’re a poor swimming and you plan on ignoring the warning signs our tax dollars pay for, do everyone a favor and swim at the beaches that don’t HAVE lifeguards. Swim at your own damn risk. We’ll ship your carcass home for you.
Hawk (who swims in a pool)