How A Hacker Got Busted.

First The Fact’s:
=================

 1) The Gov. of CT is was Lowell Weicker.
 
2) The Connecticut DOT has many LED highway warning
signs (the ones that can actually change messages,
scroll several messages and such).
 
3) War Dialers work.

The Story:
==========
 
1) Said signs are on cell phones…
 
2) A nice young pirate gave
me our hero the number to
one of the signs on I-95.
 
3) The sign had been changed once already (by the nice
young  pirate) but being young, he used his change
frivolously.
 
4) The stupid older pirate with the long hair (our hero
of the story) decided to go political with HIS statement
to the motorists on I-95 (south bound, Fairfield CT).
 
5) One monday about three years ago, the sign which
read ‘Construction – Expect Delays’ lit up with a new
message for the amusement of the stupid older pirate
his friends, and 20,000 people who saw his work.
 
6) The sign read ‘Weiker BLOWS’ (his majesty the Gov.
was not pleased).
 
7) The DOT was not pleased.

8) The state highway patrol was not pleased.
 
9) The rest of the state, THEY were pleased.
 
10) The stupid older hacker (we must now call him a
hacker) did not think like a cop, he thought like a
computer operator, if you want to keep someone out,
protect the system, cops on the other hand, to keep
people out, trace phone calls (bad news for Mr. Hacker).
 
11) The DOT main computer had (of course) a password,
and I also assume a spiffy program for editing the sign
messages, the signs themselves, were naught but a CPU
a cell phone and the display, this confused the DOT.
they were not pleased at being not pleased twice.
 
12) Two days after the sign was changed (and the state
rejoiced) our hero came home from work, smoked a bowl,
and fell asleep, the doorbell rings, our hero looks out
the window to see who is here “Oh who could that be” he
says.
 
13) Our hero sees across the street a cop car, just one,
but the kids across the street are always in trouble, so
our hero doesn’t bother hiding his bag or bowl, he also
misses seeing the other 5 unmarked cop cars in front
of his house (DUH!).

14) Said hacker opens front door, see the cops, the
very not pleased cops, see the warrant, oh no, Mr. Hacker
is in deep doo-doo now, see the cops confiscate all,
(well they were pretty stupid and missed a ton of parts)
mostly all of Mr. Hacker’s computer equipment.
 
15) See the cop, see the cop find drugs, see the sergeant
see sergeant play good cop/bad cop, ‘be a good little
hacker’ he says ‘and we’ll just flush this’, Mr. Hacker
spills his guts (well he lied, but it sounded good),
Mr. Hacker is then forced to flush his own dope,
see the hacker cry.
 
16) See no charges filed, no arrest made, see proof of
guilt until proven innocent, see Mr. Hacker, see his
friends, they’re amused, Mr. Hacker is not, see the
radio station, hear them chant his name, hear them
brand Mr. Hacker a ‘HERO of the state’, see one of
Mr. Hacker’s coworkers (who just happened to have
sniffed too much glue as a child (at least that’s what we
think)) call the radio station and tell the nice DJ’s
where Mr. Hacker works, see him also give out the
work number, (much too much glue), see Mr. Hacker’s
work place receive 247 calls in three days by people who
want to interview him. See the camera crews from
the local TV show up at his house.
 
17) See Mr. Hacker hide.
 
18) See Mr. Hacker wait for weeks while the cops make a
case, see them call him two days before his birthday and
tell him there is now a warrant for his arrest, he can be
a nice Mr. Hacker and turn himself in on Monday, or he
can make them come and get him (Mr. Hacker doesn’t
think long on that one!).
 
19) See Mr. Hackers best friend take him to get arrested
see her also give him his birthday presents on the way
to jail, see the troll doll? The troll doll is dressed in
prison clothes. Isn’t THAT amusing!
 
20) See Mr. Hacker’s best friend’s boss (who’s a lawyer)
advise Mr. Hacker on what to do, see Mr. Hacker get
DENIED a public defender, see Mr. Hacker go back and
forth to court, over and over, see people laugh in court,
see the guards have to turn away for giggling, they
are so amused.
 
21) See Mr. Hacker be sentenced to 2 years Proby, $2000
in fines, and 50 hours community service (didn’t he do
that with the sign already =))
 
22) Fin

*cough*
http://the-ayrie.net/scans/sign5.jpg

6 Comments

  1. John

    Did Mr Hacker get a recording of that radio station chanting for him? ‘Cause that would be an excellent MP3 post.

    Reply
  2. John

    Oh yeah: First. 🙂

    Reply
  3. hawk (Post author)

    I wish I had but I was on the way to work when it happened. I was lucky enough ‘someone’ went out with a camera and got that picture of the sign 🙂

    Reply
  4. TheManThatTimeForgot

    Isn’t it Weiker blows *MOOSE*?

    Reply
  5. hawk (Post author)

    It was supposed to be but it never got beyond “Weiker blows.”

    See photo here:
    http://the-ayrie.net/scans/sign5.jpg

    So, who are ya?

    Reply

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