May 11, 2007 by Hawk.

After browsing through this list I’m convinced we need to remove all warning labels from products to thin the absurdly stupid from the herd.

Hawk

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May 11, 2007 by Hawk.

I could convince a doctor to remove my nipples?

Hawk

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May 10, 2007 by Hawk.

I just bought a new grill lighter today. On the back of the package in big bold letters is the following:

“Warning Contains Flammable Gas”

Yeah, well I certainly hope so. I did just buy a lighter after all.

How stupid is the human race that we need to put a flammable warning on a device designed to LIGHT FIRES?!

Hawk

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May 10, 2007 by Hawk.

I think the weather gods didn’t get the memo. Hurricane season doesn’t start for another twenty plus days and there’s a tropical storm sitting off the Florida coast. Latest reports say it might head south west towards us. Doubt we’ll even get much rain out of it but it’s the principal (not Victoria) of the thing.

‘course, we could use the rain as we’re still in a drought and have fires burning in several places…

Ah well, can’t win, can we?

Hawk

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May 9, 2007 by Hawk.

Monday I went down to Sears to buy a PlayStation 2 and a new grill. After getting to the electronics department we found one employee working there and he was having a grand old time chatting with some guy who was pricing EVERY single HDTV they had. I finally interrupted and asked where the PS2 stuff was. He vaguely waved off in some direction and said he’d “be right with you”. The A/C at Sears apparently is as reliable as their employees as it wasn’t working and it was hotter than hell in the forgotten corner of the store. We spent 15 minutes waiting for the salesman’s chat session to end and I finally asked another employee from a neighboring department to page a manager so I could get the hell out of that hotbox. He IGNORED my request, went over to the still chatting electronics sales person then came back and said “He’ll be over in a minute or so.” I was just about to go off on the idiot when the guy who’d looked at literally 20 televisions sets said “I guess I’ll go look online for more TVs”. We finally got out of that area and went over to the lawn & garden section (where, again, there was no A/C). The guy there appeared to be less bright than a 15 watt bulb and wasted another 15 minutes of our time wandering around the stockroom to see if the grill I wanted was in stock instead of doing what he finally did which was checking the inventory on their computer! So after sweating to death for nearly an hour we get the grill, the PS2 and ourselves in the car and head home.

Tuesday dawns and I went out to the car to get the grill and put it together. I immediately saw they’d given us the wrong grill. I called the store, talked with a manager and made SURE the grill I wanted was in stock. She was quite nice (the only bright spot in the last 48 hours) and even offered me a $15 gift card to compensate for having to drive back across two towns to return their mistake. If only I’d known… So, back to Sears I go and I discover that what I’d gotten wasn’t the cheaper grill I thought, it was a more expensive model. Sadly I found this out after we’d taken the grill out of the car or I’d have just kept it…which as you’ll see I did anyhow. They re-ring the right grill up for me. Give me the gift card and I headed over to the pick-up department. Sears likes to waste my time in fifteen minute increments it seems. After waiting, again in a closed space with no A/C. The warehouse guy comes out and tells me they don’t have the grill I wanted. We page the manager, again, and I talk her into taking back the gift card and letting me keep the more expensive grill. A mistake! I drive home, with the same grill I’d left home with an hour and a half before. I get it out of the car, into the house and start trying to put it together…

The space shuttle has less parts and I’m betting better instructions for assembly. Then the ‘fun’ begins. Both shelves are bent. The shelf for the side burner is destroyed. In several places they’ve got threaded holes tapped for screws. Half of these are either clogged with bits of metal or are tapped crooked making screw insertion (yeah, yeah, funny) nearly impossible. Even the firebox, the body the burner goes in, is bent. What should have taken me an hour or two ended up taking me over SIX hours to assemble. During this hellish encounter with a garbage product I ended up with numerous scrapes and bruises and just as I was about finished (what I could, it’s not 100% assembled and never will be) I reached for a part and the lid with it’s three pound stainless steel handle came crashing down into my forehead, nose and face bending my glasses and my nose and bruising my forehead, cheek and chin. It’s twelve hours later and my face is swollen and sore as are my hands which are throbbing like mad. Oh, and the igniter for the grill, it doesn’t work. But it does light and it didn’t try and launch itself into orbit.

I’ll never shop at Sears again (after I use the $8 I have left on the gift card I bought the grill with, *sigh*) or buy another Char-Broil grill product. To say I’m disgusted is an understatement.

Hawk

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May 5, 2007 by Hawk.

Just wanted to let you know:

Poker is not a sport.
A spelling bee is not a sport.
Putt-Putt Golf can only be considered a sport if you’re very, very gay.

Please, for the love of the gods, go back to broadcasting SPORTS! And while you’re at it, no more of the World’s Smallest Nads…I mean Steroid Man…umm, Strongest Man contests. Does anyone really care who can drag a bus the farthest with their teeth?

Hawk (who’d like to see more baseball)