June 18, 2007 by Hawk.

Yes, it’s only Monday but I have serious doubts anyone’s going to be able to out dumbass this guy…

Jonathan Lafever is accused of stealing several snakes (5) from a shed in the back yard of a licensed snake breeder. He was found by employees at a local WalMart in an aisle bleeding from multiple snake bite wounds. Among the snakes this dumbass stole were two Rock Rattlesnakes, which are the ones that bit the moron. He had to be airlifted to a hospital because the nearest one didn’t have any antivenin. He hasn’t been arrested yet. I guess the police are waiting to see if he survives. Dumbass!

Full story can be found here:
http://www.local6.com/news/13520513/detail.html
Or Here:
http://www.wftv.com/news/13521634/detail.html 

Hawk (Smart enough to know if it rattles, don’t steal it!)

Posted in Rant and Rave | 1 Comment »

June 18, 2007 by Hawk.

We enjoy having you visit our fine state. Well, to be honest, you could just send your wallets, we’d be fine with that too. But for the love of God, when you visit our beaches and see those signs that say things like “WARNING: RIP CURRENTS” and “DANGER” pay attention to them. We don’t put them up because they’re quaint. We don’t put them there so you can pose your kids for a photo next to them. They’re there because THEY MEAN IT!

This past weekend alone in Brevard and Volusia counties some ONE THOUSAND people needed to be pulled out of the ocean and one, sadly, will never return to Florida. Being rescued from a rip current isn’t a damned tourist attraction, people! I feel sorry for the lifeguards, they’ve got to be worn completely out.

Here’s an idea… If you’re a poor swimming and you plan on ignoring the warning signs our tax dollars pay for, do everyone a favor and swim at the beaches that don’t HAVE lifeguards. Swim at your own damn risk. We’ll ship your carcass home for you.

Hawk (who swims in a pool)

Posted in Rant and Rave | 4 Comments »