MetroPCS, service FOR morons…

They’ve finally, after being open locally for weeks, added our Zip code to their site’s list of “Places to be anally rapped for cash”, hooray.

Their phones are unremarkable and I don’t see anything that scream bargain or unique. I’ve vaguely heard of Kyocera phones and never heard of UTStarcom but they sell ‘em.

Their plans range from $30 to $50 a month (for people who can’t think past 28 days that’s $360 - $600 a year). For $360 a year you get boned. You get unlimited local calling and long distance is .05 a minute on top of your monthly fees. To use that you need to have money IN your MetroPCS account, they don’t have contracts so they won’t bill you. Web, IM, voice mail, caller ID, etc. are not available with this plan. If you want them and other features you need to step up to at least the next level of plan. No matter what level of plan you choose none of these features are free.

Then we get on to the silly shit that made me laugh. Want to download a ring-tone, you need to deposit money in your account. Then you need to KEEP paying to use the ring-tone. 2.99 - 2 uses, $5.99 - 4 uses, $9.99 - 7 uses. They don’t mention what happens if your phone rings eight times. I don’t understand the pricing for phone wallpapers. pricing $1.99 - 1 use, $4.99 - 3 uses, $7.49 - 5 uses. Is a ‘use’ opening your phone and seeing the wallpaper? I dunno, I suspect it is but their site’s not real detailed about these things. Even their games come with levels of usage, 30 days, 60 days, unlimited.

If you want to avoid having a contract, and don’t mind paying for everything other than local calling then, well, there’s better service out there but if you’re brain damaged maybe MetroPCS is for you…

My apologies to the brain damaged people out there who wouldn’t fall for these scams.