Jay, you did a damn good job with the show and I’m sorry to see you go.

Conan, you’re an imbecile. You’ve no talent. You’re almost as annoying as Carrot Top or Gilbert Gottfried. I won’t be watching you, ever.

Way to go, Coke! Not only didn’t you save on postage by putting three coupons requested at the same time, by the same person, to the same address, in the same envelope you haven’t a CLUE when you’re shipping things out. I wonder how much that kind of stupidity costs them each year. This is why 12-packs of soda at the grocery store are over $5 these days.

“Death surfing the Banzai Pipeline while smoking a hookah. There is a very frightened octopus clinging to the front of his surfboard.”

Yeah, I’m weird, deal….

Since then it’s been my standard request when someone opens a new thread for commissions.

The Simpsons - I don’t think I’ve watched an episode of The Simpsons since the movie came out on DVD. I’m almost certain, even though I enjoyed the movie, that it was the last of the characters I ever watched. I don’t know what happened. I just completely lost interest.

Reaper - I watched the first season religiously even though I despised the round-headed guy (Tyler Labine). Then some other show was on at the same time, NCIS, and I never even thought about watching season two. Then one day NCIS wasn’t on and I tried picking up Reaper in the third or fourth episode and turned it off after less than fifteen minutes. It left me cold.

Survivor - Almost. If they have another cast member like Coach who’s a despicable lying sack of crap and who gets 90% of the camera time they’ll lose me as a viewer. This past season was barely worth watching.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent - I loved Detective Goren he was odd and disturbed and amusing to watch, not to mention Kathryn Erbe is easy on the eyes, then they split it into TWO Law & Order: Criminal Intents and that was okay, stupid but ok. NOW they’ve added Jeff Goldblum whom I despise as Goren 2. Skinny Goren vs Stout Goren… It’s ridiculous and I won’t watch it.

Saving Grace - Watched most of the first season. Wondered why the budget couldn’t afford a brush for Holly Hunter’s mop. Wondered how a detective could work a crime scene with her hair getting into everything and hung over. Wondered how many cops out there protecting me were drunken sluts screwing anything that moved… Never even bothered with season two.

CSI: Miami - David Caruso delivers EVERY line as if he’s hoping it will be the tag line in the show previews. Overact much Dave? He’s ruined the show for me.

Castle - I love Nathan Fillion. He made Firefly special (damn you FOX!). I watched this show once, twice, I can’t remember. That’s just sad.

Supernatural - When this first started out it was great. Each week was something new. Sometimes scary, sometimes funny. Then it pulled an X-Files and decided to discard the episodic shows for a LONG, drawn out, really, really drawn out, super serious story line. Sam’s turned into a dick, Dean seems to have lost a bucket load of IQ points and good gods can we end the world already?!

Bones - This never really had a chance with me. It’s so unrealistic and the cast is SO unbelievable I only catch it once in a blue moon.

Cops - “Bad boys, bad boys… whatcha gonna do” when the cops with the camera man show up ten minutes after the action? When you get to watch five minutes of the camera man running in the dark swinging the camera wildly from side to side and panting as if he’s going to drop dead from a stroke any moment… They should have called this ‘Cops, after the fact’. Yawn!

America’s Funniest Home Videos - Has never had a host with a sense of humor, talent, timing or the ability to look anything other than like a moron in front of the camera. As for ‘funniest’ it should be changed to ‘cruelest’ as 95% of the videos want you to laugh at other people’s pain and misfortune. Screw that.

South Park - South Park started out awesome, funny, irreverent, rude. Then the creators decided they were going to step into the political and social whirl and use their show to make ’statements’ and diatribe. The quality’s gone to hell and I’m bored with it… *yawn*

Do I poop first? Do I pee first? Ladies, you don’t know how good you got it that you can accomplish both tasks sitting down.

If I pee first I may poop and if I poop first I just might pee all over the place.

Welcome to the panic that is my life. Aren’t you glad you’re reading this?

Do I poop first? Do I pee first? Damn decisions!

I hate making stupid choices like this….

“You can barely walk? It could be worse!”

“You wake to pain, spend the day in pain and struggle to sleep with pain? It could be worse!”

“Hands and arms don’t work (you had to type that sentence four times to get it right?) It could be worse!”

This a horrible way to deal with a friend’s pain. Sadly I admit I’ve done it myself and even TO myself to make light of things even when they’re not light and never will be. Think before you say it, you just might make it worse…