When I first finished this book I put it down and thought to myself ‘That Joey Ramone was a real nasty guy to his friends and family.’ Then I began to think about things and realize he wasn’t around to refute the claims of shoddy treatment by his brother Mickey. To some people he was a saint to others he wasn’t. In all honesty the truth is probably somewhere in the middle and will never come to light.

I enjoyed the beginning of the book, the family’s early years and the photographs that went with them far more than the ‘Woe is Mickey’ travails that seem to fill the latter sections.

I enjoyed the Ramones as a band but was never a fanatic about them. To me the book was a bit boring and a hard read. Perhaps to hard-core fans of the band this would appeal more.

Three Stars

I had a hard time writing this review. I also had a hard time reading ‘Bite Me: A Love Story’ it felt more like a chore than a pleasure. This is the third book in Christopher Moore’s vampire saga and the seconds best of the bunch. ‘Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story’, the first book, blew me away. It was dark, funny, laugh out loud writing with romantic twist. Then came ‘You Suck: A Love Story’… Maybe it was the twelve years in between sequels but You Suck which I’d happily anticipated wasn’t all that. It introduced the character Abby Normal. A character so obnoxious she alone quadrupled the time it took to read the second book just by being in the story and being so annoying.

Not only is Abby back in ‘Bite Me: A Love Story’ the books is FULL of Abby and she’s like, annoying… horribly annoying. Pages and pages of ‘net speak and Valley Girl style slang mixed with fake hip-hop/ghetto talk. It’s all like, horrible. Abby, it appears, is blogging her adventures. If I never see the word ‘Kayso in print again I’ll be a happy reader.

‘Kayso, the story here IS better than the story in You Suck. The characters (except for Abby) seem more rounded and fleshed out. The story moves well and the conclusion (you can almost see the question mark creepily fade in after ‘The End’ at the end of the book) was, for me, completely unexpected.

‘Kayso, sadly Abby and Abby alone drops this from a four (plus) star book to a three star rating (really three and a half.).

And I’m all, “Seriously, Chris, what were you thinking?”

Three (and a bit) Stars

Another claim they make is the massager is portable. There are no carry handles on the massager itself. I found it to be quite heavy and bulky at nearly nine pounds and hard to move about the house. I can’t see using something this bulky in an office situation.

The unit is large, 17.7 x 13 x 4.5, I tried using it in three chairs and on the couch. Nowhere was it really comfortable putting it’s bulk between myself and the seating surface. The power cord is ridiculously short. You’ll have to hope for a seat right next to a power outlet or use an extension cord.

The massage heads are hard, nearly painful even on low settings. The adjustability of the intensity however is rather impressive, there is quite a large range of settings easily controlled by the wired remote. They did little to nothing for my lower back pain. It was a little more effective on my upper back but getting the unit positioned and keeping it there was nearly impossible. It did, when placed on the floor and against the couch, make my calves feel a bit better. I couldn’t find a comfortable way at all to use this on my neck. Either it was sliding down my back or the heads not touching my neck were hitting me in the back of the head.

The heat was almost unnoticeable. It took at least twenty minutes for me to feel any real warmth from the unit and the instructions clearly state it should not be used for more than fifteen minutes at a time. I also noticed a distinct and rather unpleasant odor from the unit that went away after the first couple uses.

In all honesty I really just wasn’t impressed with the Prosepra Ultimate Jade Massager with Heat.

Two Stars.

Seriously? I’ve been doing this blog for three years? (and a few days, I never remember the anniversary is the 1st)

10:30 AM the phone rings. I’d just gotten warm and toasty under the covers after a chilly night of Restless Leg Boogie. I didn’t want to answer it but the ring tone I use was annoying the hell out of me and it could have been my mom’s doctor’s office calling with test results so, grudgingly, I answered the phone…

“Hi! This is Judy with [Some such] Gym & Fitness Center! We’re calling to find out if you have the body you always wanted!”

I just had to; “Why yes as a matter of fact I do. She’s been hanging on a meat-hook in the closet and should be ripe in a few days…” Then I let loose with my most insane cackle (ask anyone who’s heard it, it’s a good’un!). There was some stammering, some partial words I couldn’t make out and then I growled out “Meat! Glorious MEAT!” That earned me a scream and a dial-tone. I wonder if she called the cops?

Four Stars