You are currently browsing the Rant & Rave weblog archives for June, 2011.
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Archive for June 2011
For the birds…
June 27, 2011 by Hawk.
As seen in my front yard this morning… They’ve got blue eyes!
Click for larger!
Hawk (not quite bird brained)
Posted in Rant and Rave | 2 Comments »
Bustin’ my stones…
June 17, 2011 by Hawk.
There used to (and may still) be a seller on eBay who sold unbroken geodes so you could ‘break your own’. It was fun never knowing what you’d get. They made nifty and very unique gifts too…
Hawk (rock ‘n roll, rockin’ rocks, rock!)
Posted in Rant and Rave | 1 Comment »
What a day…
June 10, 2011 by Hawk.
I went to the pet store but they said they didn’t have any melon collies so I asked if they had any silver retrievers because gold was too expensive. They asked me to leave. Then I tried to bring home a German shepherd but he told me to leave him the flock alone. No one will tell me if Water dogs are fresh or salt. Do Shit Shoes go after sandals too? Will a peek a knees also check out my ankles?
Hawk (barking up the wrong tree)
Posted in Rant and Rave | 1 Comment »
I Won! I Won! I Won!
June 7, 2011 by Hawk.
I just got a Priority Express (PriEx!) envelope in the mail! It said there was SPECIAL dated material inside and I must open it AT ONCE!!
So I did… and it was an ad from a local car dealership… with a scratch-off spot and if the number under my scratch-off spot matched the number inside the ad from the local car dealership I’d won ONE of these fabulous prizes!!
1. $50,000 cash OR His & Hers Outlanders OR Five years rent/mortgage payments
2. 50′ flat screen TV
3. $1,000 Wal-Mart gift card
4. One Florida Lottery scratch-off ticket
Can you guess which one EVERYONE wins?
Then I looked at the smallish print and read; “Value between $5 and $1,000.”
Now, I don’t know about you but I’m wondering how fifty grand in cash, two cars or five years of rent can have a value between $5 and $1,000. Maybe they’re Matchbox cars? Maybe you have to live in some 3rd world village for them to cover your rent… Maybe it’s Monopoly money!
Then I looked at the even smaller print:
Odds of winning 1st prize (1:25,000) - 2nd prize (1:24,999) - 3rd prize (1:24,998) - 4th prize (24,997:25,000)
So, should I drive all the way across town to get a $1 lottery ticket?! Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Hawk (won, shit yet again, yay me)
Posted in Rant and Rave | 1 Comment »