Tag Archive: idiots
On the way home from Wickham park this past Sunday I stopped at a Walgreens that was on the way to pick up a few things. Now, normally if there’s parking spaces open that are a reasonable distance from the store I’ll leave the handicapped space open for someone who needs it more than I do but this time the lot was packed and the only open parking spot was handicapped.
I pulled in. Made sure all my gear was out of sight, pulled the handicapped parking placard out of the glove compartment and hung it on the mirror.
As I’m getting out of the car I have the following encounter:
Nitwit (NW from here on in): “Hey! Hey, you!”
Me: I have no idea who she’s talking to so I ignore her.
NW: “Hey, hey! You can’t park there!”
Me: I turn around and see a middle age, middle weight white chick dragging a kid by one arm. I ask “Are you talking to me?” (wishing I could say it like De Niro in Taxi Driver)
NW: “You can’t park THERE!”
Me: “I can’t?”
NW: “That’s for handicapped peoples!” (yes, she said peoples)
Me: I look directly at the handicapped parking permit hanging from the Accent’s mirror.
NW: “Your NOT handicapped!”
Me: I look down at the cane I’m leaning on and tap it with my foot. “I’m not?” I say.
NW: “You can’t park THERE! I’m gonna call the cops!”
Me: I reach into my pocket, pull out my cell phone, flip it open (yes, it’s old) and hold it out to her. “Here, use my phone.”
NW: “Your NOT handicapped!”
Me: “Are you a doctor? Have you seen my medical records?”
NW: “Your NOT handicapped! Move your car or I’m calling the cops!”
Me: I shrug and say; “Whatever…” Then I turned and walked into the store.
When I came out 10 or 15 minutes later there’s a cop car blocking me in. Nitwit is still standing there dangling her toddler like a Cabbage Patch doll. She shrills “I TOLD you I was gonna call the cops!”
Cop: “Is this your car? You know you can’t park in a handicapped space with someone else’s handicapped permit.”
Me: “I don’t walk with a cane because it makes me look all dapper and British…”
Cop: “License, registration, proof of insurance, please sir.”
Me: I pull out the documents he wants and add the paperwork from the motor vehicle department that I received when I was issued my handicapped parking permit.
Cop: “Stay here.”
Ten minutes later he’s back with my paperwork, he hands it to me and says “Sorry to have kept you so long, sir. You can go now.”
NW: Who has been standing there gloating and tugging on her toddler the entire time sees the cop get in his car and back up so I can get out screams “Why ain’t you giving he a ticket! He’s breaking the law!”
Me: As I’m rolling out of the parking long past the nitwit I call out the window “Have a very nice day, ma’am!” and then… “Hey kid, sorry you had to see this.”
I pulled away in a hail of profanity and toddler tugging. As I looked back the cop was getting out of his car with storm clouds around his face and heading toward the nitwit and her poor kid.
Hawk (still feeling sorry for the kid…)