D&D: Can I help you?
Me: Large black coffee please.
D&D: How would you like it?
Me: In a cup, please.
D&D: But what do you want in it?
Me: Percocet, vicodin?
D&D: {D’hur}
Me: Coffee, coffee in cup, lid, lid on cup, give cup, take money.
D&D: But HOW do you want it!?
Me: Hot, thanks.
D&D: Cream? Sugar?
Me: Put the damn coffee in a cup and hand it to me!
D&D: Please, how do you take your coffee?
Me: Apparently with violence.
D&D Manager: Large Black Coffee, on the house sir!
Me: Ahh… coffee.

I decided not to be one of the lemmings who’d leave an expensive item hanging out of a metal box on the sidewalk and held onto my package (go ahead, snicker, I’ll wait… done? Good… Onward.)

Drove mom to a store she wanted to do some shopping at and while sitting in the parking lot reading a book on my Kindle (have I mentioned lately I love my Kindle?) I figured I’d let UPS know their drop-box was overflowing. Since the pick-up time listed was 5:00 PM and it was only 8:30 AM things could only get worse. Using the Kindle’s 3G connectivity and basic web browser (have I mentioned lately how much I love my Kindle?) I looked up the UPS phone number and was searching for another drop-box location that hopefully wouldn’t be so full.

After fighting with their automated phone system for several minutes I finally got someone on the phone. I explained what I was calling about, gave the address of the drop-box and the cross street. He then said “Ok, sir, I can transfer you to someone who can help you with your problem.”
Wait, what? Wasn’t that what HE was doing?

After a thankfully short time on hold (my cell minutes are expensive) another gentleman gets on the phone and I explain once again what I’m calling about. He asks me for the address of the drop-box and since I had the page listing local drop-boxes still open on my Kindle I read him the address DIRECTLY OFF THE UPS WEB PAGE. He asked me to give him the address again. I read it to him again including the name of the shopping center it’s in. He then tells me that he cannot find a drop-box at that address and am I SURE (and he poured on the snotty condesending tone) of the location. I’d wasted enough of my air time so I reminded him again I was reading the address off the UPS web site and that I was done trying to be helpful. He mumbled something about needing to speak to a supervisor, I told him to get bent and hung up. Can’t even try to be a good citizen without getting crap from people.

‘Big deal’ you say? I think it is. Many owners, myself included, have said over the last six months or so that even though they didn’t regret getting their Kindles when they did they would have opted for the (less expensive) Special Offers model.

Over the months I’ve kept an eye on the offers that Amazon has made and some of them have been pretty good. $20 Amazon gift cards for $10, that’s “Here you go, $10 free. Have a nice day.” They’ve offered select books in several genres for a $1 as well as discounts on toys, DVDs, 50% off Kindle accessories and even discounts on laptops.

I hadn’t updated my Kindle at all and was still running the original 3.01 firmware it shipped with. It worked and I saw no real reason to update… until I saw I could opt into the Special Offers program. You need to have the latest firmware (3.3 for the Kindle Keyboard) which downloads via wifi when the Kindle is in sleep mode or can be done manually as I did by downloading the proper update file, moving it to the Kindle over the USB cable and then manually starting the update.

Once the update is done which take a while all you need to do is connect wirelessly to Amazon. 3G connectivity, if your Kindle has it, is fine. Wifi is not required to receive the offers. Once you’ve connected the offers will show up at the bottom of your home page (it takes up the space of one book listing) and your screen saver image will also be a special offer.

I’ve already taken advantage of my first Special Offer. I signed up and was approved for an Amazon branded credit card. Upon approval, which took two minutes, they immediately deposited $50 into my Amazon account’s gift card balance. No activating purchase with their card was necessary, no requirement to use the card at any time ever. Apply, get approved, get $50.

You can earn points for using your Amazon branded card anywhere (extra points for shopping at Amazon) which can in turn be used to make purchases at Amazon but with a rather high APR I doubt I’ll use this card very much. But hey, $50! Thanks Amazon!

Let me take you back a few… ok, more than a few, years. Back when I was still living in CT. Two years in a row a friend (to remain nameless) showed up at our apartment on Thanksgiving. The first year she was IRATE that she had been turned away from the soup kitchen in Milford because they had too many volunteers already who wanted to feed the homeless a turkey dinner. She wanted to feed a homeless on Thanksgiving and missed out.

The next year she showed up at our apartment again not quite as irate but still pissed off. She’d been allowed to feed the homeless but only for an hour. They had so many volunteers that everyone was giving an hour shift so they could all partake in the joy of spending one day a year giving a crap about someone less fortunate. They had so many volunteers that they were forced to have them wait outside because there was no room inside for the homeless to sit and eat.

We then got into a horrible argument (which I won, HA!) about how I felt people who only did things like volunteer at kitchens and shelters on holidays were frauds assuaging their guilt over having more than those less fortunate. I explained that homeless people are hungry EVERY day of the year and she could pick any other day of the year, July 19th, September 7th, St. Isidore the Farmer’s day (look it up!) and still feel just as good, perhaps better because there would naturally be less volunteers around, than volunteering ONLY on Thanksgiving.

This caused a Latina explosion rivaling the Mount St. Helens explosion, language you wouldn’t expect from a young lady and a hearty flouncing out of the apartment complete with naughty hand gestures… I actually think that was the last time we talked.

So here’s a suggestion friends and readers (all three of you) DON’T go to that soup kitchen or shelter on Thanksgiving. They need help year round. Call them and pick a day when they NEED volunteers. You’ll feel better, everyone will feel better and you won’t be a Thanksgiving fraud.

Jacksonville –> Melbourne –> Jacksonville –> Melbourne?

Did it go back? Did it teleport? It arrived before it departed and then departed again!

I still ABSOLUTELY love the Kindle. My arthritic hands no longer have to hold up large hardback books or force open paperbacks. The adjustable font size makes reading a truly pleasant experience. Get tired but want to keep reading, up the font size with a couple clicks. eBook readers and eInk screens have to be one of the greatest inventions I’ve ever owned (2nd only to the digital camera). With a built in dictionary I can instantly look up almost any word I’m not sure of. 3G connectivity and, to be honest, free basic web access means I can amuse myself updating Facebook from the doctor’s office or check the local weather forecast and radar image. Google image search while slow (and all in 16 levels of grey) is still useful and amusing if I want to see what something mentioned in a book looks like and I’m too lazy to walk over to the computer .

Mom’s too hasn’t touched a paper bound book since getting her Kindle in December of last year. She adores the ability to make any book a large print book and not having to get books from one special section of the library.

I’m not even jealous of the Kindle Touch (the Fire is NOT a Kindle no matter what they’ve named it). It’s clever and neat but I’m quite happy with my old 3rd generation Kindle.

If you read and haven’t tried a Kindle, I highly recommend heading to one of the stores, Best Buy, Staples, Walmart, Target, etc. that sell them and check one out. It’s a whole new experience.