Latest Posts

Hybrids.

Introducing the new, 468 horse power hybrid from Infinity…

Yes, that’s EXACTLY what the world needs. A gas saving car for people who can already afford expensive gas. Hybrids are fast becoming bullshit status symbols instead of the new wave of economic transportation.

Why isn’t anyone making an affordable hybrid/alternative fuel car that those people (poor, like me) can afford? We’re the ones who can’t keep shelling out $3.05 for a gallon of gas!

Hawk

 

Saturday the 14th…

You’d think that on Friday the 13th they’d run the entire Friday the 13th movie series, and yet, they didn’t. Then you’d think that Saturday the 14th would be the perfect day to run the classic comedy/horror (I bet you guessed its name) ‘Saturday the 14th‘ but alas, it’s not listed anywhere… *sigh*

Hawk

Blades of Glory…

Second week in a row ‘Blades of Glory’ was ranked first for box office returns…

That’s got to be one of the signs of the coming apocalypse, right?

Then the plagues and after that those four horse guys….

I’m going to go hide, I suggest you look out for locusts and falling frogs.

Hawk

T.P.O.T.B. Part Deux

Recently a national chain drug store had a pretty nice deal on Coke 12-packs, 4/$11 and get one free. Now, I got through Diet Coke in large quantities and paying the super market average of $4.60 for a 12-pack is insane. This being Florida I’ve found that if a store’s got a 24-hour branch I’d much rather shop when it’s dark and cooler than when it’s sweltering hell outside. That being said, around 3 AM I drove across town to their (to remain nameless) store only to find NO coke products on the shelves. Less than 24 hours after the sale starts and there aren’t five of ANY to even mix and match. So when I got home from wasting my time and gas I wrote their corporate HQ an email about their inability to maintain stock for less than 24 hours of the sale. This wasn’t the first time I’d wasted my time driving there.

Two days later the phone rings, it’s the district manager apologizing profusely for not having the soda in stock and offering to PAY FOR and DELIVER the soda to my doorstep! I was nice and told her it wasn’t necessary I just wanted it brought to someone’s attention that they continually fail to stock enough product when they have these sales. She then asked me to confirm my mailing address and said she was going to put a gift card in the mail for my trouble. Two days after that I got a $20 gift card in the mail! Just for bitching…

The power of the bitch, people, it works  🙂

Hawk

Help me be frivolous…

I’ve got these points I’ve earned at this points earning site (if you’ve read the rest of the blog this is easy to figure out 🙂 ) and I want to blow them… I don’t want to be practical. I don’t want to be frugal… I just want to have some fun with, say, a couple hundred bucks…

Problem is, I can’t remember how to be frivolous!

I’ve got a limited number of places I can get gift cards from but the gamut is pretty well covered. Walmart, Circuit City, Sears, that kinda stuff…

I was thinking maybe a Playstation 2, but I dunno.

Help me throw my money away! Suggest something!

Hawk

Insurance Companies…

It was 2 AM and a car drove into my house. I called my agent and she came right away to get the car towed away and to get someone to board up the hole in the house.”

After the hurricane my insurance agent brought me ice to keep my insulin cold so I wouldn’t die.

Do these people actually exist? The commercials claim they’re real stories. I don’t think our agent even knows if we’re alive or not. The last time I called him to discuss the vandalism done to our house (see below) his secretary told me “Oh, you just need to call the claims line…I don’t have the number, check your bill.” In 2004 after being hit by two hurricanes he never came out, never called. He certainly didn’t bring us ice or show up at 2 AM.

Why the hell do I HAVE an insurance agent?

Hawk

Goldkit…

Have you guys caught this commercial on late night television yet? Just call the 800 number, they’ll send you an ‘indestructible’ envelope, you send off your unwanted gold and they’ll mail you a check…

How fucking gullible is the American late night viewing audience? Do we need an adult V-Chip to protect the moronic from throwing their money away?

Hey, people, if you don’t want your money, send it to me! I’ll at least be honest about it, I won’t send you anything in return… no, wait, I’ll send you a thank you card. How’s that? Send me your money and I’ll thank you for doing it? Sound fair?

Hawk